“Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow.”
—Mary Tyler Moore

It may feel obvious to state, but Keystone students routinely perform at a high level in a variety of fields, and we take pride in their achievements.

Because our students often excel in academics, the arts, athletics, or in community service, there’s often a reluctance to risk making mistakes. As administrators, we see students and parents anguish over missing a question on a test, or making a minimally lower score than expected. Aiming for perfection may help on a test, but it’s a mindset that can hurt students in the long run. While success may be its own reward, it can also blind us to the lessons we learn from our stumbles and missteps.

There’s a classic quote from Thomas Edison that puts failures in the proper context: “I have not failed 10,000 times—I’ve successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.”

Prof. Sanjoj Misra of the University of Chicago Booth School of Business explains the benefits of messing up in a terrific article, “The Incredible Power of Being Wrong: With the Right Approach, Mistakes Can Be The Fuel For Your Greatest Victories.” In this piece, Misra describes three formative moments in his career when he erred, and the positive benefits that accrued.  He explains that what he thought was an important mishap actually turned out to be a positive moment in his career trajectory.  

This is something we try to teach Cobras again and again.  Whether it’s a coach exhorting his players to “take the shot” or a teacher encouraging a student to make a “guesstimate,”  we want our students to realize that they will make mistakes along the way. This is more than ok; it’s a fundamental element of their growth and development.  I remember a former Keystone mom walking with her young boys to drop them off at school and calling out to them: “make lots of mistakes!” Hearing that encouragement  made me smile.

Many times, former Head of Lower School and now librarian Ms. Villagi would teach students about a “beautiful oops” moment, borrowing a concept from children’s book author Barney Saltzberg.  So often, Keystone students would be stymied by a fear of being wrong until they realized that this is alright. 

This also happens when students find their science fair hypotheses to be proven wrong.  The importance comes through the lessons learned along the way about their topic and the process of experimentation and scientific research.  

Many years ago, I heard someone explain that it’s not that “experience is the best teacher;” on the contrary, it’s “bad experience that is the best teacher” because it’s through our mistakes that we really move to the next level of learning. 

In his piece, Misra shares a  four-rule strategy about being wrong:   

1.”Accept the fact that you’ll be wrong.” This is a crucial first step. Setting this expectation as inevitable makes it easier when it happens.  

2. “Surround yourself with people who will tell you you’re wrong.” Instead of enveloping yourself with people who will agree with you, select people who will challenge you to be better. 

3. “Study your mistakes.” Our mistakes can be our best teachers when we pay attention to them and study what went wrong rather than merely accepting them.  

4. “Finally, talk about the possibility of being wrong.” When we normalize mistakes as ways to learn and grow, we welcome, rather than dread, them.   

Mistakes can help us develop and achieve, if we’re willing to learn from them. As our high-performing students embark on their next assignment, performance, or competition, let’s encourage them to take risks knowing that they will make mistakes along the way, and that’s the way it should be.